With Andy 'Gonzo' O'Brien out due to re-construction of his nose, there seems to be something wrong with each centre-back we currently have - Ken Cunningham is losing his hair, Gary Breen is de-tached from West Ham (yet still safe as a house...we hope!), Gary Doherty (or 'Dogherty' in Georgian) fancies himself as a striker, Dunne's rear has taken on the social importance of J'Lo's derriere and will soon be appearing in Leaving Cert papers and John O'Shea, well, he plays for United.